you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize