Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize