Just fell off a train. Bad.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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