Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Don't make out with my wife yet
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
