I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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