I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
