Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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