Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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