I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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