I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I've blown a few things in my day
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
