took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he thought i was a dude.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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