Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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