I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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