If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
