I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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