WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
