you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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