What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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