You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
