i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think my nap took me to another dimension
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
