I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
