Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
