I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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