there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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