I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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