i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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