Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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