Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
