Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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