i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
