CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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