Please, let me fuck your mom
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
