I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You made out with two different species that night
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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