Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
