In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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