One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
