Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
