How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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