he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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