I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Michael Bay diarrhea
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
