we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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