I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
