so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize