Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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