I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
