I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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