I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
