My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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