Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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