You're so nebulous sometimes
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
