I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
