she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
