I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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