i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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