i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
