I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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