I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
