I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize