So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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